Building an Authentic Personal Brand from the Inside Out
Oct 14, 2024
What do people say about you when you're not in the room? It’s a question that Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, often raises when talking about personal branding. For me, personal branding isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the key to understanding who I truly am and how others perceive me. It’s a journey of uncovering my unique experiences, values, and strengths, ultimately figuring out what sets me apart in both my personal and professional life. Your brand is your reputation, whether you're aware of it or not.
So, the question is: Are you owning your narrative, or is someone else defining it for you?
For much of my life, I didn’t really know any of this. I had been living according to the expectations of others—parents, siblings, friends, colleagues—without really asking myself: What do I want? Then, motherhood hit, forcing me to pause and reflect. How could I raise my kids to know themselves if I didn’t even know who I was?
I started working with a therapist, and one day, she posed a question I had never considered: 'What are your values?' At the time, I didn’t even know what values were, let alone have an answer for her. We began with a small values exercise, which turned out to be a turning point in my life. This discovery has since transformed my daily life, guided my choices for over six years, and slowly evolving into shaping my personal brand.
How can you bring intentionality to your brand? I believe it's essential to start with your individual purpose and values before defining your personal brand … aka the inner work.
In my opinion, the world needs more pauses, more moments to step back and reflect. We need to give ourselves permission to disconnect and listen to what our bodies and emotions are telling us. I get that it's hard to pull away from a world that's so hyper-connected yet somehow feels lonelier than ever. But that’s part of the work we get to do in this life—the beauty of being human. We’re all "in progress," so there’s no rush (trust me, I’m guilty of rushing! But really, we’ve got time, and we’re in progress for our entire lives). When you take the time to pause and listen to yourself, you’ll find the answers that feel right for you, answers that are authentic and true to who you are.
By making the time to identify my values I have been able to be more authentic and truer to myself as I progress. By starting here, you can create a personal brand that genuinely reflects who you are. I encourage you to give it a try. It’s a powerful exercise that can help you gain clarity on how you want to show up in the world.
Pro Tip: I encourage you to explore Brené Brown's values exercise. It can be a transformative tool in your journey. Your values become clearer as you begin to understand yourself, the forces that guide you, what you care about most, and how you want to feel every day. The goal is to live in a way that authentically reflects your inner work.
Living my values means striving for a well-lived life through authenticity, nurturing relationships, and focusing on what truly matters. This involves prioritizing my health and wellbeing—getting enough sleep, meditating, spending time outdoors, enjoying nutritious food, and being mindful of my sleep cycle.
I also work on cultivating deeper connections with family and friends. For instance, tomorrow I’m heading to Hamilton to visit my sister while our kids are at school. This time together is precious to me, especially since we both lead busy lives and live an hour apart. These moments are vital, and I consciously carve out time to nurture our relationship.
If you share a similar value, consider these questions to assess your alignment:
How do you show up in your relationships?
Is there room for improvement?
Are your intentions, words, thoughts, and behaviours aligned with your beliefs?
Are you making time for those who matter most to you? If not, why?
What small gesture could you implement today to move toward alignment?
Self-awareness is key in this journey. I’m grateful for my therapist's support, which has pushed me toward meaningful changes in my life. I take pride in making space for that work and striving to live in alignment with my values. I revisit them often to check in with myself and see if anything has shifted as I continue to grow.
Adding onto this concept, having an accountability partner can significantly impact our journey toward well-being. They help us stay committed, provide encouragement, and remind us of our goals, even when challenges arise. My kids are my accountability partners, even if they don’t realize it yet. As a mom to three daughters, I want them to grow into strong, confident women who know themselves and develop healthy habits as a foundation for a well-lived life. When guilt creeps in, my values ground me in calmness and presence, reminding me to care for myself. By doing so, I hope to teach my children these important lessons, so they can carry them forward in their own lives.
Next, we’ll look at how we can translate this insight into more actionable tips for building an authentic personal brand.
Actions Speak Louder than Words. The power of doing what you say you’ll do cannot be overstated; follow-through is essential for establishing trustworthiness. Any misalignment can create space for trust to erode slowly both internally and externally. In practice, I strive to follow up soon after an interaction, whether work-related or personal. For instance, there was a time I committed to meeting a colleague for coffee to learn more about their work. I made it a point to follow up soon after, and that small gesture solidified our connection. Be mindful of keeping your promises—if you say you’re going to follow up, do it!
Seek Honest Feedback. Asking people in your network how they perceive you can be an invaluable exercise in self-discovery. I remember feeling vulnerable when I sought feedback, and I was surprised by some of the insights I received. However, it’s helpful to remember that this process isn’t about criticism; it’s about growth. When I reached out for feedback, I crafted an email similar to this:
Subject: Your Insight Needed
Dear [Friend],
I’m currently reading about a concept called **Unique Ability**, which is based on the idea that everyone possesses a unique combination of talents, interests, and capabilities. I’d really appreciate your help in identifying my own unique ability by considering the following question:
What do you see as my unique ability? This includes my talents and abilities, characteristics that describe me, what I’m good at, how I do things, what you count on me for, and any other distinguishing features you notice about who I am.
I’d be very grateful if you could respond within the next two weeks. Thank you for your support; I look forward to hearing from you!
Best,
[Your Name]
This practice offers valuable insight into how others perceive you and helps you align those perceptions with how you truly want to show up in the world. Gather both positive and constructive feedback—adjectives and descriptive phrases—to frame your value proposition and assess how closely it aligns with your desired brand identity. Consider feedback as a powerful tool for growth—it can highlight blind spots you may not be aware of and help you refine your personal brand in ways you hadn’t imagined and continue to use this tool throughout your journey. By embracing these insights, you can create a more authentic, intentional personal brand that fully reflects who you are. Feedback plays a crucial role in shaping our brand, but equally important is how we internalize and celebrate the positive impact we've had on others.
In my own experience, I've seen the value of this practice firsthand. When I reached out to my network for feedback on my Unique Ability, here’s what they shared:
Immediately what came to mind for your unique ability is the ease in which you form connections. You find common ground with nearly everyone. Something I very much admired and noted while working with you.
One of your talents is your ability to make people feel seen, heard, and comfortable being themselves and getting vulnerable.
You are kind, supportive, determined.
You just go for things. You are adventurous - you don't shy away from a good challenge.
You like to roll your sleeves up, get down to the nitty gritty, potentially have some tough conversations and come out stronger for them. You're also up for just about anything, and that's a really valuable attribute.
You’re good at prioritizing yourself but still putting that same amount of energy into caring for others.
What count on you for: Staying in touch.
Able to see the perspective of others and be their champion.
Though these weren’t all the responses I received, these insights resonated with me deeply and serve as a reminder of the strengths I bring to my personal and professional relationships. They also inspire me to continue cultivating these traits.
While external input helps refine our brand, it's also essential to remind ourselves of the progress we've made and the strengths we already possess. One way I do this is by maintaining a personal positive vibes folder where I store uplifting messages I receive from clients, colleagues, family or friends. I have also extended this practice to my kids by setting up individual email accounts for them, where I regularly send messages to capture their childhood memories and milestones. My intention is to gift them these email accounts when they’re old enough, hoping it allows them to reflect on and appreciate the different versions of themselves as they grow up. This practice can significantly boost self-esteem and confidence, especially during tough times when it’s hard to see our own worth. When you need a reminder of your strengths and the positive impact you have on others, revisiting these messages can be a comforting and uplifting experience. It can also serve as a brand and personal growth history to reflect on how far you’ve come and how much has changed for you over the years.
Now, let’s talk about how to get grounded in our values, we need to embrace the art of being—being fully present. Personally, and I know it might sound a bit old school, but I truly value spaces like a room, dinner table, or meeting where phones are absent. When a phone is present, it sends a subtle message that whatever is happening on that screen is more important than the conversation in front of us. Small yet intentional acts of removing distractions (AND muting all notifications) can significantly enhance trust and connection in our relationships, which seems to be lacking these days.
In a previous life as an HR Director, I made the conscious decision to put my phone away entirely during one-on-one meetings with the workforce. The results were profound; the conversations flowed effortlessly, and I could see the positive impact it had on the organization, fostering feelings of safety and being seen. Being fully engaged not only left a lasting impression on them but also enriched my own experience, allowing me to show up authentically in that role. By being present, we not only honour the people in front of us but also cultivate meaningful connections that go deeper than words.
This brings me to another critical aspect of our interactions—our energy. Just as being fully engaged leaves a lasting impression, the energy we bring into a space shapes how others experience us. As the saying goes, “People will forget what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” This resonates with me because it underscores a fundamental truth: the energy we bring into our interactions matters. Are you adding positivity to people's lives, or are you draining it? Take ownership of your energy bubble—protect it when needed and share it to uplift others when you can. After all, people always remember how you made them feel.
If you’re constantly sharing, “I’m exhausted, work is stressful, and traffic was terrible,” you’re communicating negative vibes and missing an opportunity to reinforce positive aspects of your brand. But if you choose to respond with something more intentional, like “The commute wasn’t great this morning, but I used the extra time to listen to a really interesting podcast on creativity,” you’ve shifted the energy from the situation, sharing a message of positivity, productivity, and a growth mindset.
To illustrate the power of energy and presence, I think back to my first long labour and delivery. My midwife had to call for backup, and the energy of the backup midwife was like having my own personal cheerleader enter the room. Her presence infused the space with a renewed sense of confidence and empowerment—exactly what I needed to push through. That moment still stands out as a beautiful example of how someone's energy can leave a lasting impact.
With that in mind, let’s shift to another important area where your energy and presence matter—your online brand. Be intentional about crafting your social media presence to reflect who you truly are and how you want to show up in the world. Personally, I’ve chosen to opt out of social media, as it doesn’t align with my values. I find that in-person connections fill my bucket far more than the online world does. However, maintaining authenticity online is just as crucial as it is offline. It’s easy to fall into the trap of “performing” for likes, but staying aligned with your values builds long-term trust and feels more fulfilling in the long run.
Use your online presence as an accountability tool—ask yourself:
Is this something I would post on social media?
Does it truly reflect my values?
If not, what can I adjust in my actions, decisions, or mindset to get more in alignment with my values and support a more authentic social media share?
This idea of staying true to yourself reminds me of a quote that landed in my inbox while working on this post: “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take.” — Joseph Campbell. It’s a powerful reminder that our journeys, online or offline, should be driven by authenticity rather than the expectations of others.
With that in mind, remember that growth is a journey, not a race. As you take those first steps toward aligning your actions with your values, be patient with yourself. Personal branding is not just about how others perceive you; it’s about how you feel as you step into your authentic self. Positive affirmations can be incredibly transformative as you navigate this journey. Be kind to yourself as your brand continues to evolve and remember to embody no one but yourself.
Here are a few affirmations to remind you of your strength and worth:
I am enough, just as I am.
My worth is not tied to my productivity. (Ooof, it took me a while to work through this one!)
I deserve rest.
Every day, I become healthier and stronger.
I am proud of my journey and accomplishments.
I celebrate the silent battles I’ve fought and won.
I am someone with grit and integrity, always evolving and learning.
Remember, branding—like being human—isn’t static; it evolves over time as you grow personally and professionally. As you navigate new experiences, challenges, and opportunities, your brand will naturally shift. Embrace this evolution as part of your journey and be willing to adapt while remaining true to your core values.
Building an authentic personal brand from the inside out takes time and is a journey of self-discovery and intentionality. By embracing your values, seeking honest feedback, and holding yourself accountable, you create a strong foundation for your brand that reflects who you truly are.
As you embark on this journey, take small steps each day to integrate your values into your actions, both online and offline. Reach out to those around you, ask for feedback, and be open to growth and change. Your unique story and perspective are valuable assets in a world that craves authenticity.
Now, I invite you to take the first step. Try the Brené Brown values exercise, send out the feedback request email, or simply reflect on what being authentic means to you. Embrace the journey and watch as your personal brand evolves into something that truly represents your essence.
I’d love to hear how you’re building your authentic personal brand. Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below! And, of course, I wish you the best on your journey. ✌️